It usually only happens when Im really excited. Normally not that fast. You still enjoy it?
Turned in a paper today on drug abuse. Chose to write about percocet. Just realized I started 2 sentences with "This amazing drug"
My vagina makes bad decisions like its her job
Before I left in the morning I deleted her purity ring app off her iPod, I figured it would save her the shame
I've got 2 dollars. How do I turn this into alcohol?
We're doing it in the traditional way of discussing why we dislike each other while sharing a bowl. Just like the natives do.
Oh by the way, john gave me your shirt to return to you when I was at work today. I almost gave him his girlfriends underwear to return to her but figured it would be inappropriate.
I threw away my jacket instead of washing it, the jungle juice stained me more of shame than red food coloring... i have never been that white girl wasted before...
Why did I wake up with condoms on all my fingers?
Considering the girl you hooked up with, I'd be concerned about not having one on your penis.
Just had my first american. He tasted like freedom.
Operation terrify all men while simultaneously make them fall in love with me is going quite swimmingly so far
Exactly man. Who needs doctors when you have vodka and hot knives.
Probably should start having regular sex again too to lose this breakup weight. Good cardio.
I just timed my pee with a stop watch. From when the main stream started to ended. It was 45.1 seconds. This is the truth trust me.
I seriously just rolled a joint on my high school diploma. I feel like I've come so far.
Randomize
