Im at the zoo right now high out of my mind and feel as if the animals are watching me and Im the one in a cage.
i almost burnt down an apartment complex. little busy, get back to you later
I just watched nsync videos for the past half hour and you could totally tell lance bass was gay in all of them
He's in bed with me right now. I'm wearing a towel and all I could wish for is my freedom. And pizza.
It was all going great until he pulled the hamburger meat out of his pocket
Although I wish I was out drinking, this cough syrup has me slightly more optimistic than usual.. I heavily debating trying to find mystical creatures and selling them to rich people as pets
Just got 20% off at the liquor store. How you ask? I asked if there was an "I got divorced today" discount.
Hearing them have a conversation is like listening to water buffalo have sex. Awkward and scarring.
Definitely! I will do that this week. Right now, watching drag queens play with my dad's beard.
Well. Now I feel like I put pants on for nothing.
I don't drink nearly as much when I'm coupled, and that's not a lifestyle I can commit to
I expect you will be there for a drunken 3way with my husband again this new year.
You can't die you're my only democrat family member
There are leaves in my underwear?
Sorry for not calling you back. I got drunk and passed out on the kitchen floor. I just found my phone in the shower.
Randomize
