i don't know whats more disturbing, that his dog drooled directly into my mouth or that i was too drunk and tired to do anything except let it be there.
I just wanted to let you know I just licked gravy off of my boobs. Just putting that out there.
Guys, right now i need a picture of a squirrel, preferably with one of you guys but not necessary.
She said she was jealous that i could wear headbands, then growled at the ground in shame..
I'd like to thank you fucktards for dumping the WHOLE box of Tricuits in my bed after I passed out.
I feel like despite his sleaziness I could be friends with this man. he just sent me a picture of his dog's balls.
Please come home, i don't want to feel like basket garbage girl but I'm in your alleyway and not sure how to change that.
I had 2 bags of iv saline fuilds for brunch and the buffet at the strip club for dinner. happy easter.
And one night I got way too drunk and thought he said call me a polish name so I called him Konrad. Now he thinks I cheated on him with a Konrad.
That's my new pick up line call me a polish name
I don't know what to think. Also, I decided to take a bath...sorry in advance if I flood the bathroom.
We can stop fighting if you send me a picture of your dick standing at full attention wearing a sock.
I'll wait.
It can also be a hat.
i just woke up to her giving me a toothy BJ so I had to break into your bedroom and steal about 4 condoms. Sorry for waking you. :(
now acid just makes me think of crab ragoon
Sorry, I didn't know he was with you. The ongoing collapse of Trump has me horny as hell.
I have just discovered the land of milk and honey. and by milk i mean vodka and by honey i mean tequila.
Randomize
