i can now get sex on a playground off my list of things to do in life.
How do you know one of your one night stands hasn't produced a child? You may have hundreds of kids.
Pretty sure I don't. One night stands are purely anal..no exceptions.
just used a blowie as payment for him having to take the dog out to let her poop.
i'm pleased to announce i can now open a bottle of wine with my shoe if called upon to do so.
he was so nervous about his first time.. it was like michael j. fox trying to put on a condom...
i just called. the lady was really nice. something tells me my schools clinic gets a lot of calls about chlamydia
It's confirmed. We did xmas carol the grocery store across the street from his building at 2:30am... Only the staff was there.
Hooking up with him would mean my type has officially become... drug dealer.
I'm chugging Gatorade because i drank something called a trashcan and someone named Gianna diamond has my credit card number, and I think I might have ruined my life.
On a better note: I'm on pace for 730 female produced orgasms in 2013.
Drunk me made out with someone's girlfriend last night, was invited to their place for a semi-threesome, and then walked home at three am. Can't decide if this is better or worse than drunkenly challenging everyone to taekwondo sparring matches...
so hungover. I'm actually considering eating the snow off the roof so I don't have to leave my bed
Oh okay well are you handling the "just sex part" like a professional hooker like I taught you?
So when I walked out, everyone was chanting ONE OF US, someone draped a lei over my head, and then she grabbed my ass and dragged me back into the bedroom. I'd say it was a pretty good night to lose my virginity.
You passed out in my backseat like a legitimate infant. A really drunk, really horny infant
Randomize
