Wedsnesdays are always enlightening. Tonights revealation: One should not smoke from something taller than their person.
the line for where the wild things are looks like radiohead had sex with an urban outfitters
Does boxed wine and camel crushes signify a college date? Lets hope so
I don't think I can fit "I'm sorry for ruining Christmas" on one cake. Better make two.
We ran out of things to say while we were playing Never Have I Ever so we started playing I Have Done This... Have You?
How do I know I'm high? Let me count the ways.
1. I put the milk in the cupboard, 2. Everything tastes fucking amazing, 3. My dog is really soft, 4. The lunesta butterfly flew out of my tv and touched me
Last night you sang a duet with a gay man posing as a straight man posing as nicole kidman; your life lacks neither color nor texture:)
with a cock that big I don't even care that he makes a convincing drag queen
I don't think you should be sorry for such memorable sex that I yell your name when you aren't around.
Next time someone asks you what your spirit animal is do you really want to answer the iowa state fair butter cow?
I AM GONNA CUM EVERYWHERE TONIGHT BRO.
WTF ARE YOU DOING IT'S FUCKING VEGAN COFFEE IT'S MADE WITH NUT MILK YOU'RE NOT A FUCKING SQUIRREL.
well we woke up in different beds than the ones we originally fell asleep in, you were butt naked, and your boyfriend was sleeping on a cot in the middle of the kitchen. that might be why he's mad.
Sex was followed by homemade breadsticks. I waited till after the breadsticks were gone to tell her i had a gf.
I didn’t spend $100 for a wax to sit here and listen to you FT your brother to complain about how bad the Jets are.
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