my ultimate dream in life is to have sperm so powerful that it will rival that of jim bob duggar.
I feel like a combination of david goes to the dentist and drunkest guy ever goes for more beer
Let's roleplay tonight. I'll be drunken diva and you be sexy sober.
IF that's your way of making me dd then count me out.
all her text said was "asdfhdaufhudshfuds" and i knew that meant come over
I don't think he understands what an important role his penis plays in my level of self esteem
And I'm PMSing. So if I'm not crying, I'm masturbating.
Atty had lunch with DA and confirmed I am not the target of the investigation. No word on anything else
he was grinding on you and dedicated the song "I'm in Love With a Stripper" to you then started taking his own clothes off
i'm sad. The beetle crawled away. I was only trying to get him stoned.
I think I accidentally agreed to be someone's surrogate
Okay. So I've done lines off a bible. But that's just for the sake of being cliché.
My life is literally "I'm too horny you can't leave" or "let's have pie" there's like no inbetween
I woke up just like any other Wednesday. Naked on the floor, hungover and covered head to toe in lube
Sorry I can't pick up... thought process is fine but too stoned to form words.
Had a dream last night where I asked you how your Christmas was and your response was, “sex, man. Just lots and lots of sex.”
Good god. A spell so dry your friends actually commit it to their subconscious!
Randomize
