i want tt clbm rinabw nd ride uncrn
what?
i wnt tto climb a rainboww and ride a unicornnnnnnnnn
Is it weird i consider You Sexy Thing our song?
and he thought i came like four times in 2 mins. my leg just kept cramping up
The only bad thing about this relationship... my forearm strength is dwindling
I have to keep checking she's breathing. This is why we don't drink on Sundays
the bar just sent me a facebook message congratulating me on being a regular and getting such good grades. my life is not real.
I think there's a website warning girls about me based on the 4 who approached me separately tonight and called me evil. Fuckyoudave.com?
I'm watching a man in drag spread food products on his face my life is spiraling out of control.
It was the hardest I ever came in my life and once I could see straight again I just looked at him and said "cool"
He sat down, pointed at my Converse and said "I have the same shoes." I thought "I'm going to have sex with you by the end of the night."
I'm wearing the monkey suit out tonight. I hope you're ok with it leaving the bedroom
He offered to take my unemployed self out for drinks, but I really just want him to buy me the Beyoncé album
he told me he had a gf and in the very next sentence asked if I wanted to have sex.
I seriously thought Satan had his hand up my asshole and was pulling out my soul. Never. Again.
HE'S FUCKING 19 YEARS OLD, HE CAN'T EVEN GET INTO A BAR WITH ME, WHAT MAKES YOU THINK I'LL LET HIM IN MY PANTS?!
Randomize
