so just incase you wake up on the couch wondering how you got there--you came home at 7am, put ice in a cup--then you proceeded to put the cup in the microwave and melt it because you "wanted water". you then, fell down the stairs while saying "you don't know me" then crawled to the couch.
Just met a girl...She is complaining why on facebook you can't have more then one "open relationship"
I dont know how i feel about her from a moral standpoint...
How many 'remember name' entries is it inappropriate to have in one's cell phone?
Hold my feet while i lean out of the window of the truck.
I demand visitation hours with the duck.
And leave it to John to ask the cabby to make a Porno in his cab
Seius question. Does a penis floar when ina baht? Must find out.
He's coming over, and I hope he doesn't get hungry. I'm sure its not proper protocol to bring one booty call to another booty call's house for the munchies.
When we were done he got down next to the bed and I thought he was Tebowing. He was hitting a bong that he had already loaded and hidden under the bed.
I know it was your bday but bringing a airhorn and blowing it yelling "buy me a fucking shot" in the bartenders face was a little uncalled for
You ever sit back and realize our friendship is based off us ranting at each other with random animal photos thrown in
I don't think "growing medical marijuana" is Quite what my Grandfather had in mind when he thought me about gardening as a child
the bouncer just handed me a Starbucks bag of pound cake
Met this british guy. Played pool. Broke into an apartment and had sex
Tonights mission: get trashed, smoke a bowl on top of the silo, get some dick. Not necessarily in that order.
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