the sex wasnt even worth changing my sheets
I woke up, not remembering how or when or why i was even there and looked over to find Steph spooning with an adult black man.
There are babies in the room i shouldnt be high with babies in the room.
Just because you're using the Hipstamatic app for your nude photo taking, it doesn't make your drunken blowjob pics any classier.
Had to make a piece of abstract art. Your dick is in it
I'll bring the barf blanket just in case.
I'm standing in line at the liquor store and they're making popcorn.
I guess I just got drunk and ordered a mini fridge off the internet. At least now I know the 200$ that was missing from my checking account wasn't spent on lap dances only.
And your cousins porn shouldn't have been the first straight porn you watched. And for that I am sorry
Just go to your happy place. Mine is with Jake Gyllenhaal & schnapps
Idk man there's lots of bad dick but even a bad cookie is still pretty good
Don't be hating on my everclear. Never taken a smoother journey into intoxication.
MY MOM WALKED IN WHILE I WAS EATING THEM OUT AND STARTED ASKING US ABOUT THE PROJECT RUNWAY EPISODE WE WERE WATCHING EARLIER
He's gonna fuck me, then his girlfriend is going to come over and fuck me in front of him. And they're smoking me out. Happy birthday to ME
theres a girl in the library eating whip cream out of a starbucks cup... only whip cream, im way to high for this shit
Randomize
