Just saw truck nuts on a handicap conversion van
we got a new version of the plan b at the pharmacy now. its called next choice. you would think they would come up with better names for these things.
He was really drunk and I dared him to jump the swimming pool on his bike. Sadly he couldn't. Hey did you know a testicle can burst?
The vodka told me to go iceskating on my frozen pool. I may have attempted.
i want to find a way to basically assault his face with my vagina.
How would u feel about transportimg a penis shaped ice luge to nashville?
Hey we need to step our game up. Dad has us beat; he stole a vending machine once.
Yeah I just gotta do it so that my major doesn't find out. Doesn't look good having a stripper teach your 3rd grader
We got a kitchen table so we would eat together more. So far we've played drunken monopoly and had sex on it.
No more margaritas for you. Also, tequila should be reclassified as a hallucinogen.
Dick. I'll go round and break his windows. I've been watching Sons of Anarchy on Netflix.
He just felt my tits to find out which piercing I lost.
you left your anal beads in the dishwasher
my lips are numb and my face feels like a pool. PENGUINSSSSSS
Share, now.
Replacing my paralegal is easy. Replacing my favorite office fuck toy is a totally different story. Damn him for wanting to better himself instead of being my manwhore
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