i'm out of smokes so i just had an after sex popsicle. this might become an addiction.
where does the pee come out of this thing
In the middle of blowin me she stoppped and told me how easy it would be to insert a catheter ..... Apparently she was a nursing major
I will now attempt to shave my public hair into a Christmas tree.
Yeah I had to push her down the hallway to the hotel room in a luggage carrier. The guy at the desk told me goodluck
How dare she call you insensitive. Should have told her about the time you let that girl in the wheelchair wearing the sombrero blow you.
i yelled at him for a little and we ended up fucking in a random tennis court.
Im positive, your name was on my abdomen, Im pretty sure thats solid evidence
Shots. Renamed a guy (he looked like a Scott to me), running, bloody Marys, walk to Safeway, donuts, ride home from someones husband, Nurse Jackie. FIN.
yo knit me an eyepatch. but also make it usable as a thong
"Where are you? Where are my keys? What is this guys name again? Why am I wearing two pairs of your pants?"
We have a shopping cart in our front lawn. Also Mickey D's breakfast?
You shouted "my financial aid just came in, who wants a shot?!" Half the bar followed
I'm currently drunk proofing my room
Those brownies did us in. I honestly blacked out completely.
What brownies? Ohmygod.
Randomize
