dude, your ex-bf is on match.com
details on that.
well, his profile doesn't say anything about herpes.
Yeah, we realized keeping you in a cage wasn't beneficial to us
I just drove by a church. On the sign out front was written 'crocodile cock'. On both sides.
Not everyone can get ass. Some people are good at building rockets. You’re good at sleeping with many men. It’s an art.
When he came he kept saying "oh god oh god" and he sounded just like his dad. awkward...
The secrurity code on my debit card is 420, can not lose this card.
I didn't ride the struggle bus so much as drive it backwards off a cliff.
Because selling drugs to kids never goes out of business. We get older, they stay the same stupid.
Mom just referred to a 9 year old as "this bitch", so I'd say day drinking was a success.
while i am personally glad that we met...i feel like for society as a whole it was a bad thing
Are we on the same shift tomorrow and more importantly do you want your pants back?
Blizzard, Hour 9: I'm 7 beers deep and have finished Ninja Turtles. I am listening to the NYPD and Nassau Fire Dept pipes and drums and writing new drum scores in my head, which I may or may not remember tomorrow
While having sex, a German accent isn't sexy.
"The More You Know"
BITCH I AM EXPERIENCING THE FEMININE MYSTERY SHUT UP AND GIVE ME DRUGS
This fucking storm better not ruin my sex plans this weekend
Randomize
