Nope, Im Irish and pissed with some drunk mixed in...therefore punching things is the best solution to every problem.
my 12 year old sister just told me how admirable it was that i felt comfortable going out with my friends dressed "like that"
He has been begging me for a Bj but doesnt want to get mono
How is he gunna get mono? is he gunna suck on his dick after you?
I sent out a mass text that said "margaritas for Jesus?" and nobody responded, worst Easter ever.
His idea of a compliment is: 'you're cuter than your friend. If you both wanted a 3way I'd do it,but I'd pay more attention to you.'
This is ridiculous. It's like playing possible STD Clue, and I don't want to be the winner.
I couldn't sleep so I drunk ellipticaled for an hour. Worst. Idea. Ever.
If you ever find a dick that big chop it off and bring it to me.
They're not that bad of drunks, they come back to the vehicle with more stuff than they went in with, so its a profitable venture.
Ran into my neighbor that's always crying. I wonder if she's like; "I ran into my neighbor who's always playing with her vibrator?"
I can hear my family downstairs singing Christmas carols as I masturbate
There are grandparents doing keg stands I don't know
Aka I'm headed to the liquor store because I don't know how to handle my emotions.
She was trying to be sexy well putting on my condom with her mouth when her cat pounced from the corner of the room witch caused her to gasp and inhale the condom
hurry there's a jack Daniels slip n slide and clothes are coming off faster than I can even comprehend oh thank god for autocorrect
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