i just saw a midget buying condoms and graham crackers. i wonder which was the impluse buy.
I was to drunk to drive all the way up there, so we just had rough phone sex instead
new level of vanity: sex dreams about deep throating myself...
I wanna get so drunk next week I throw up on a guy's genitals. I want to be that memorable for someone.
I bought a fake diamond ring to wear, not only to bars to keep the creeps away, but so that I'll be judged less by the front desk girl at Planned Parenthood
Even his old football coach jokes about how big it is. I don't want to be alone in a room with him and that monster.
Let's just cut to the chase. I'm not interested in anything romantic but I aAM interested in Tom Petty and maybe getting high and fucking you again for old times sake.
let's be real here, you have a beautiful vagina. this kid is a doctors son. that's a remedy for beautiful rich grandkids. he is just trying water his family tree, and make sure he doesn't end up in some piece of shit adult home. go for it.
I feel like our relationship should have moved on from you constantly asking if I'm gay
I'm not sure New Orleans is real. Even the grocery stores sell vodka.
like I licked Molly off a boys palm last night at a bar I think its ok to eat chicken once a week
Goddamn right, I may not survive the apocalypse, but my eyebrows fucking will.
Drunk you wants to be petty, not you you.
It's official, I'm not staying in tonight
What caused that decision?
You only live once
Did you ask Harvard boi?
Apparently he likes someone who is into being smart and a supporter of human rights ugh what a skank
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