A girl just asked me to co-sign for her boob job because she didn't have enough credit built up. This is a first.
He did not want a thank you for helping me move in bj. I don't know how to thank him now.
You could probably play six degrees of separation of my cock in this city.
I fcuked ip.
Is this your way of telling me that you got drunk in your office before meeting with your dissertation advisor again? Or that you finally banged that freshman fraternity pledge?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Every time I there's a break up, I'm left with an animal. That's it. No more mutual pets.
What the fuck could you be doing in that room to make her yell "Beginners Luck!" over and over again?
I might have hooked up with a 2003 alumni last night in the basement
Dude you were ten when he graduated
Wahoowaaaaaaa
I sewed up my pants, stole his girlfriends white shirt, and went to work hungover like a responsible adult.
I tried to smoke out of half a banana, and lit my nose hair on fire. So I feel like that sums up my life pretty well.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I put a zucchini in my pussy for you
I just wanna get drunk and go sledding in my kayak
Ultimate fat girl moment: I promised him my mouth for the night if he bought me a funnel cake..
How the hell do you misplace a bag of tacos in a closet?
she crossed my comfort zone...i thought i was a freak
said the guy with a pink sex swing...
It took me twenty minutes to read that sentence.
All I said was okay...
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