I have nothing to say, just wanted ur phone to vibrate
hey, what are you doing? my roommates are gone for the night... you should come over ;)
nah, i'm gonna grab some food
Have $25 to my name but it's $2 pitchers. I have no choice but to go.
You were petting your shoe and saying this makes me really happy
Uhh, there's a legit bruise on my boob.. Again how does he manage this
Its like "fucckkkkk yooouuuuuu" is echoing up my esophagus
tequila?
yep
No if my life depended on you fingering me just let me die
the cashier ate half of our fries before she gave them to us so i think it's safe to say they don't do drug testing there
This drive is very scenic
And I'm chugging whiskey in the back
As you should, soak in all this country has to offer
it's finals week and we've been blasting country porch drinkin since 10AM. there's been like 4 tweets about hearin us on the other side of campus
We should probably feel disgusted that we took turns eating and drunkenly passing around a burrito the size of a small dog but i’m ok with it.
I'm planning our wedding on the computer and our threesome on my phone. At the same time.
I accidentally sent my dad a very explicit Star Wars fanfiction and he replied with "That was great!"
Like my mom really needs to know just how non existent my sex life is
It feels weird going to sleep without hugging the toilet goodnight
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