Unless I'm getting a singing midget telegram, I'm not going to smile
Just so you know, the bottle of red gatorade is NOT GATORADE. It is definitely someone's puke. I hope nobody else makes the same mistake I did.
ugh. my friday night is playin' Farmville on my face. time to harvest the blackheads...
The best part is that he made someone stop their workout to take pictures of him, specifically so he could put them on facebook. That is an unparalleled level of douchebaggery.
Well regardless of where or with who you will be blacking out and i will be pouring shots down ur throat like a baby bird
Just pulled back my covers. Jizz. Jizz everywhere. Hipster jizz everywhere on my only set of sheets.
Seriously this night has "go home now before you cry, puke or scream on someone" written all over it.
Quick! What do I wear on a 4 hour road trip with an older guy in the army I had pantomime sex with in a hotel a few months ago?
By the way, anytime you want to go toe to toe on Doggystyle lyrics just let me know!
Who is this? Did we just become best friends?!
Their first impression of me was that I was completely naked. So yeah college hasn't even started yet and I'm already that person.
Right as the plane left the gate the brownies kicked in. I dont think the guy next to me appreciated my engine noises as we took off
He uses Bing as his search engine...but he's great in bed. So obviously I'm torn.
THE AUSTRALIAN IS SINGLE AS FUCK.
It shouldn't be this hard to find someone who you haven't blown.
did he think i wouldnt notice the naked girl in the backseat
Randomize
