Whoa Z and x make the same sound
I'm retiring my vagina. Better yet I'm Farve-ing it.
Def the best call fo sho
That way it can come out of retirement anytime and play for different teams. And it can wear Wranglers.
We're attempting to get a tally of how may people puked last night...Please respond with your vomit status.
stumbled upon a picture of an owl staring me in the face. i almost offered him a bong hit.
I already banned bobbing for apples. While drunk that's just drowning near fruit.
PLEASE. I won't throw up on the floor this time. Or fuck in the bathroom. Or dance on the pool table. So PLEASE.
The first thing we did this morning was see if we could see her barf in the prking lot from the roof. We could. It was in 5 spaces.
I have nothing to say other than the obvious 'we probably shouldn't have done that' and the less obvious 'i think you bruised my labia major' ...?
He told me"I think your ready for this" and went into his closet whipped out a movie certiffied light saber.
Burritos, beer, and hot tub sex. Merry Christmas to me.
My moms new boyfriend looks like Stu Pickles if he was in a biker gang. He gave me free coke though, so come party?
Accidentally made a straight guy question his sexuality again. I really gotta watch myself.
Drunk me really needs to stop 1. telling every attractive dude in a relationship that monogamy isn't real 2. Proposing threesomes with them and their girlfriends
I just had a 30-minute convo with an irrelevant fuckboy from college who decided to tell me FOUR years later he’s sorry for sleeping with 3 girls at once including me.
So I forgot to ask, how was that bartender you slept with two weeks ago?
Google chlamydia.
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