It was unlikely that the relationship was going to end with anything other than antibiotics.
apparently "my dealer got arrested" is not an acceptable answer when mom asks "What happened? You look sad today"
Made a visit to my old puking stall. I missed it.
Something strange is happening to me, I think I miss hooking up with girls sober
Well, I plan on starting the night dressed as little red riding hood. Then I plan on finishing the night dressed as a shit show in a red cape.
apparently i walked around all last night forcing people to beer bong whatever drink was in their hand. so far this morning ive had three people refer to me as beer bong man
No like you fell onto the fence. I don't even know how you got into the fenced in area.
A gentleman never tells..... therefore i will neither confirm nor deny the attatched photos
My chest hair is, as we speak, arching upward to embrace my neck beard. The union will be a storied one.
she pretty much pinned my hand to her boob "on accident" for like 10 seconds before she moved. Waiting the rest of the night was just a formality.
Sometimes a girl needs 4 shots of whiskey in her diet coke at 5 in the afternoon and i feel no shame in admitting that girl is me
I had a dream about that dude. It was the first time I had a dream about him since the tryst.
The tryst?
The hookup. I like using sophisticated words for my foolish decisions. Makes me retain some dignity.
Jesus I should have learned from my first marriage not to get married again
I don't know what his name was or what he looked like, but I remember him rocking me to sleep with his cock
I'm not fucking any of these fools. But if they want to buy me Olive Garden, that's their business.
Randomize
