R you on birth control?
No, why?
...no reason
im officially scared..,i finally realized who my boyfriend reminds me of! spencer pratt
We started playin just the tip, then shit got crazy
Of course, I believed he would find me irrestible...sloppy drunk, chugging from a bottle of chardonnay, and completely naked because those kids stole my clothes as I was swimming on their private beach
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I just dont understand why you didnt cut me off when I took the funnel into the bathroom and started peeing and funneling at the same time
I just stole a conducting baton from the chicago symphony orchestra... i have to stop drinking on weeknights
Here's the thing, you got road head in two different cars tonight. You feel lucky yet?
I just ran into mom and dad day drinking at the bar while I skipped class and was day drinking at the same bar.
Life's too short to be sucking dicks in cars for the rest of my life.
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I promise that I won't shotgun beers with your boyfriend this time, Scouts Honor.
So this is my life now? Laying in bed texting about Hulk penis?
I am so disappointed that he didn't steal a Christmas tree last night.
So I met one of her cousins last night. She recognized me as "the guy that's always in the liquor store", I may have a problem.
grapes are the best munchies food ever cuz like the juice explodes in my mouth and my mouth gets all relieved of dryness. and the skin of the grape is like the food. and theres so many grapes!
I'm tired of you and your emotional constipation. WHY DO YOU CLOSE YOUR EYES WHEN WE MAKE LOVE!?
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