I feel like this woman may give her husband a hand job mid way through dinner. just saying.
When the phrase "Wow your huge" came out of her mouth I knew it was gonna be a good night.
We walked in and the first thing we heard was, "OH SHIT! White chicks!" Naturally, I made some new male friends.
New realization: eye makeup remover takes sharpie off boobs
just spent about 3 1/2 hours looking for a dollar so I can buy weed.
suggestion: become a stripper.
She bellyflopped onto the poolside bar, broke one wine bottle, and stole another...the resort staff just frowned and cleaned up her mess.
A guy with no shirt on and a eyepatch just got out of the car beside me. After he slammed his door into mine. This is our hometown.
I can't wait to go to grad school so I am not your high unemployed friend.
Water park on acid. THIS NEEDS TO HAPPEN!!
By getting lucky do you mean I get one of your incredible BJs or you not killing me by the end of dinner?
I spent the morning naked in her roommates closet because her parents decided to come over after church..
My boobs are literally freaking out because I've been wearing a bra for more than three hours....I need to go out more...
Oh, in response to your "does dating get better" question...I feel like penises are getting smaller nowadays. Its been several years since I saw a good 8+ incher.
I dunno what to tell you sport. Short of having a shock collar on, you're gonna wanna hook up with people.
He went down on me for like 30 min and honestly half the time I thought about those videos where people can smash watermelons with their legs and I just wanted to do that to his skull
Randomize
