had to go back to that apartment this morning to get my other boot. it was tacked to the wall
He told me "it wants a kiss" WHY HAS THIS HAPPENED WITH 2 DIFFERENT PEOPLE.
Where did this racoon skin hat, stop sign and bag full of tacos come from?
Narnia or $5 pitcher night either way
also I woke up naked and covered in water but nobody can explain that part.
Yes ma'am.Im also looking at my collection of penis pictures in my email playing "who;s penis is that"?
I just compared his sexting to a plate of spaghetti. And he STILL wants to sleep with me.
You're a waste of cheezeits
I woke up with my panties in the cat food dish, and everything covered in honey and bruises.
I mean I'm not saying I have my life together but I did just put nerds in a bottle of champagne and then drank from the bottle
He kept telling me that it stood for Sex Utility Vehicle
I fell asleep while eating jimmy johns last night and then woke up at 5am and continued to eat it
So after the absinthe shots_____(fill in the blank area for me please)......
we were waffle house and a lady told me her imaginary friend was sitting in the chair next to her. i don't feel so trashy now.
outside on the street drinkin, walked into a random house and asked to pee, some kid hands me a beer and says i have to chug it first
Never going back to jail again. Only time in my life I've ever had a wet dream about jerking it...
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