let's makeout let's makeout let's make out let's make out
he told me it was because of the roids, but i couldn't tell if he meant ster or hem.
my dad brought home flowers.. so i started talking to them
Wearing the BK Crown on the throne while dropping the kids off at the pool? Yes, one of my life's goals. Win
Right now im sitting at home and all i can think about is im eating calories and i should be out drinking them.
Dude, she puked up her Plan B, then reached in the toilet and re-swallowed it. That chick does NOT want a baby
Fuckbuddy couldn't meet, so she's trying to find a substitute to come fuck me. Best. Fuckbuddy. Ever.
This is irresponsible on your part, leaving me alone in a bar.
And my coffee table looks like something out of Scarface
I'm seeing double so when I get home can we have a threesome?
I need to be her Aladdin, and show her the world. The sex world.
What even was the context for that. All I have written down is "I would vote for President SnakeJaw."
found a thong and $20 in my right pocket. it's going to be a good day
Its not something you can force it it just has to happen like a rainbow or pooping
It's 1:37. You have 23 minutes to get your dick to the bar before I go home with the bartender... tick... tick...
Randomize
