You kept whispering, no one does me like Jimmy Johns does me.
Well he's not exactly single.. It's like an open relationship his wife doesn't know about
i will see naked twins by the end of the night. that's all i know
By round 4 of the Dead End shots, I thought my jaw was dislocated ... Best invention EVER.
The best part of that night wasn't even the sex, it was listening to her explain to her boyfriend why she was naked in her room while I hid in her closet.
I walked into your room and you had fallen asleep smoking a cigarette. You just had the butt in your mouth with ash all over your face.
Its raining shots and i keep catching them in my mouth like you with dicks shits crazy
I want Samuel L. Jackson to stand beside me and narrate my morning shits.
Dude I thought she was trying to turn my dick inside out
I should have listened to my dad and mean girls... If you have sex you'll get pregnant and die.
Hahahaha .. If it makes you feel better I had a sex dream about a cheeseburger last night so I feel like we both lose.
Did your grand seduction include learning to play careless whisper on a kazoo or was that just a hobby
If this adventure is going to get us arrested it'll have to wait until Wednesday so that I can bail myself out.
I fought off a bull with my bare hands while he went off to have sex with her against a wall. I’m more upset about the fact that no one is acknowledging what I did.
I walked in the kitchen and heard her saying "We could have been so good together" as she caressed an egg with her cheek.
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