drugs are my only escape from this reality. good thing I got it at a discount price last night
I could be wrong, but im pretty sure i jumped off the roof after my lighter.
NASCAR RACE 2010 NO REGRETZZZ!!!
It is literally 8 in the morning.
I haven't had nearly enough lesbian experiences to fully commit to this relationship.
Oh shit. There are penis maracas
It just goes to show you, your dreams can come true. You can hook up with your dads hot married friend.
When he gets asked "is it in?" more than his name you arent missing out on much more than a petite tampon.
I put my hydrocodone prescription in my cereal box its like real lucky charms
Even when you're down just know that I will always be the one to pour alcohol into your asshole when you're on probation
I just fell and sprained my ankle in the shower. No, I wasn't having sex. I was doing the time warp. Again.
Are you alive? Cause this is my official "im actually alive" text.
I'm being hhit on by creepy guys please come one bought me a penis hat balloon animal save meeeee
HER BOYFRIEND CAME HOME WHILE WE WERE GETTING IT ON IN THE SHOWER
At least you smelled nice while he kicked your ass.
Like how do you live your life and have never made a grilled cheese? The audacity of some people
Of course he’s picking me up at the airport. I taught him the Lotus position last time we had sex.
Randomize
