I just encouraged Kelsey to make out with some guy for beer so I could take one, does this make me a pimp?
By definition I think it does.
So this is what it feels like to be all that is man.
thats the last time i clean cum out of my retainer.
He tried to blame not having a condom on the economy.
hey just checking if u still hate me for sleeping with your sister?
we were having sex and the sweat made her make up run... seriously laid there and watched her face just melt into ugly.
Are you seriously gonna shit with that life vest on?
I ended up giving him head, i think it was mostly a defensive move so that he wouldn't discover i was wearing those onesy spanx
i caught him jerking off, doing his SAT Prep. forever alone.
i think that after ALREADY drinking that much, the tube shots may have been a bad idea.. i mean afterall, i did wake up and find my cell phone IN the bonfire the next morning.
I am compiling a playlist that reminds me of all my best sexual encounters. It shall be called THE MUSIC OF MY VAGINA'S PEOPLE
I asked her why she named her vibrator Lorenzo and said it was the name she started screaming her first time.
Come over. I've made 2 dinners and so many cocktails. I'm a 50's housewife with no family.
Sad fact: I'm doing that thing where I'm bored so I give myself Princess Leia hair and drink alcohol.
Next time I feel awkward in a situation I'm going to just yell "free bird!!!!" Like some redneck at lynyrd skynyrd show
Hope you are okay. You were running down the street with shopping cart at one point and yelling "bitches aint shit!"
Randomize
