Iiiiiii almost fall ib the lake
woke up next to her writing my name in some journal. apparently she makes every guy she hooks up with sign out.
A horse told me not to drive home last night. I think there was a cop on top of it.
She's "scared" of blowjobs, so she just played with it for a while.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I love watching the kids I sold drugs to score touchdowns
Thanks for not stopping me when I decided to call my mom at 2 in the morning to ask her where I was born
All I really need to know is how to say "where is the bathroom" and "I don't take it in the butt anymore". I think that will suffice.
Leaving someone plastered on a corner at 3am telling them to just scream for cock is NOT being a good wingman.
Now I get the fucking shakes every time I hear I'm Sexy And I Know It. Thanks, Captain Morgan.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
one of my coworkers wanted to look something up on YouTube on my tablet. I didn't know how to explain why my most recent search was "girl fucks dog."
Watched twin sisters make out thought it was amazing sick on their part but legit to watch
I found my bra I wore on Friday night...he fucked the underwire out of it
hahahahaha
How's work going?
Boring. I have a cat on a leash right now
I mean that was the nicest way to be dumped by some one I wasn't dating.
Funniest thing happened to Chloe! She talked the bf into a mmf threesome, and he loudly and enthusiastically discovered he was gay during it. Whole dorm literally heard it happen.Well funny for me. Chloe not so much.
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