White wifebeaters are like orgies with fat people. Enjoyable in private, i'm sure, but in public: no thanksss.
i felt like cinderella. except at midnight i turned back into a whore.
I don't understand why some guys want to have a huge conversation while standing at the urinal with cock in hand...
$1 pitcher night should be outlawed.
A guy wearing a hard hat while floating the river. It's the most responsible drinking we saw all day.
I'm in a hotel full of Marines. I'm leaving here pregnant.
I wish they'd wear their tampons on the outside. At least gimme some warning
Someday, but I will be heavily drugged and there will be no dolphins.
You're the only person I know who would be upset about making out with a girl you like. You're like a drunken Charlie Brown.
I'm gonna have to get you a special blowjob bib -- like a lobster bib -- but instead of a picture of a little red lobster, it will have a picture of a penis, with 3 big squirts coming out.
Is there a polite way to say "Sorry for your head injury but I still want to hook up"?
I hope one day I make out with someone in a taco truck :(
I'm glad I inspire you to reach for the stars
Or a taco
He's a fucking asshole. Who gives good head. And seriously I have never seen someone less committed to hair color
uh...sober saturday NEVER has a good ring to it.
May I the honors of taking your dick tonight?
The honor would be all mine.
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