we're getting ready to take strippers to breakfast. I love my life.
My parents came down to check and make sure I wasn't into any mischief then proceeded to give me alcohol.
brass monkey on radio. cant stop dancing.
he ate out my asshole, i really don't think he gets embarrassed easily.
Well look at it this way, if he should happen to get into a terrible accident within the next 2 days, its okay.. i have his dental records on my ass cheek.
It's like that depressing moment when you drop your cocaine in the snow.
Think of where it's been though. That Dr. Suess book, "Oh the Places You'll go" was written for his penis.
Burnt my ear trying to use the bathroom blow dryer as a telephone.
So our 'date' consisted of getting drunk off champagne at four and photo-bombing the shit out of tourist's pictures all over the city. Thoughts?
I don't think anybody else enjoys making out with multiple guys on the same night as much as I do. I'm like a wine taster but with lips... it's like art to me. The bruise on my upper lip is proof of it
My unemployment came through so I'd like to thank the taxpayers of Utah in advance for my level of intoxication this weekend
Did I run away from you last night?
Yeah it was a great moment for our friendship
It is a fiery spray of napalm-covered beautiful words that leave a flaming "fuck you" on the ground after I destroy him.
You're telling that to the kid drinking Jack in nothing but a graduation cap
well we woke up in different beds than the ones we originally fell asleep in, you were butt naked, and your boyfriend was sleeping on a cot in the middle of the kitchen. that might be why he's mad.
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