somehow in between the body shots the bong hits and trying to convince the 7-11 lady to let me fill up my vodka bottle with cherry slurpee. i misplaced my car.
found some acid from a couple months ago while looking through christmas lights. Looks like santa came early this year.
come on don't hate me. your brother looks just like you its almost a complement that i had sex with him.
was it you or me who tried to make the, what appears to be, nacho cake in the oven?
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I told her she can't come to our bonfire because she throws up on herself & she has a mustache. And now apparently I'm a bitch or something.
i shit in a pringles can and hid it somewhere in your house....happy hunting
I mean...he was throwing up for almost 3 consecutive hours. I don't think there's a chance in hell that would have tasted even close to tolerable.
Come on, without my personality, I'm a pretty good one night stand.
I am currently watching him baptize himself in a baby pool with a handle of belvedere while wearing a coral dress.
I want to have sex with him.
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Neil John just started open mouth kissing everyone to make sure they are safe.
Well you ended up trying to convince two Greek girls that you were Greek, but failed massively by shouting at them in Spanish, and then almost vomiting after taking way too much snuff. Maybe lay off the guinness next time?
I think I'm gonna cut my hair just so I stop waking up with semen in it
I just walked out of the side door of the bar to come in the front door so no one would know I've been here drinking before our work meeting.
It's 7am. I'm sitting on the curb in last nights clothes with a nose bleed and no idea how to get home. Low moment I feel.
I just fuked with kevins application and made it say that he does conjugal visits for community service
hey some people donate their time while apparently kevin donates his body
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