the entire time we were hooking up i couldn't stop thinking about the bengals. thoughts?
We're like two naked peas in a sex pod.
Hurry up I might actually study if I am left alone
She made me cum so hard I couldn't hear for half an hour after
Just pulled over to throw up in a day care parking lot while the kids were outside playing. The adults were mortified.
my neighbors garage sale is really cutting into the time of day when i can smoke weed on my deck.
I just had a full choir singing the phrase pudding cup in my head. Too. Stoned.
not totally sure where im at but i think i've definitely woken up on this couch before. bong on the coffee table looks familiar. should be able to find my way home
Nope my penis exudes pure oxygen in times of crisis.
Please tell me that is you having sex in my car in my driveway and not a complete stranger.
i have my bailey's and coffee which lasts me until lunch, at which time its appropriate for me to bring a vodka and OJ mix for the afternoon. This university thing is grrreat
What i love about my dog is i can lay in bed and masturbate with him at the foot, and he just leaves me alone.
I was told i took a shot doing a headstand in the backseat then proceeded to barf all over my face
I had no idea you were so talented.
You waddled all the way home with your shoes in a construction cone. I'm glad to call you my Bestfriend.
I don't know what else to tell you.. just listen to some taylor swift and you'll know what to do in the morning
Randomize
