Sometimes I think its so cool that a dick that has been inside kate moss has also been inside me. So exciting.
Either your mom needs to stop making spagetti or we need to lay off the anal. I cant tell you how much im in pain.
Spagetti cuz im not giving up the other one.
You told him how lucky he was to be an elephant and kept trying to grab his "trunk"
I saw the video from Saturday. So, how much did I drink for me to think I was a duck and strip my clothes?
Just saw my bank statement. It literally goes liquor store pizza place liquor store pizza place bar bar bar liquor store pizza place 711 for snacks withdrawl for drugs rinse and repeat
There were 11 girls in that minivan and everyone was either puking, crying, or yelling "we're a total shit show"
He just invited me over to bang on a sunday afternoon. If I can make it top the time I went to a strip club on fathers day then I'll consider it a success.
i'm soo broke, the only trip i can afford for spring break is acid
Dancing naked to Celine dion - im alive. No better way to start the day
We ended up debating which Food Network host would do best in porn.
I masterbated to the rocky theme song. I'm pretty sure that just beat any sex experience I've ever had.
I literally farted midsex as a siren for him to get the fuck off me.. No such luck.
The most adult decision I've mad today was Jameson or Fireball? It's been a successful Day
I look excited, but its just a facade.
Just got caught by my boss looking at porn on the work computer & he decided to utilize this time to look with me. Not sure if this is good or bad.
Randomize
