Bea Arthur died yesterday
You shut your stupid mouth
Betty White is next, I just know it.
Betty White will never die! She's like Dick Clark. Rue McCalahan is next.
Do you realize that Last night you pissed in my closet and then walked to the bathroom to wash your hands?
I like to think that tonight was Jesus punishing James Cameron for his role in popularizing "My Heart Will Go On."
I woke up at 6 on his trampoline wearing only a parka.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We had phone sex and he came in his sink. i will never eat off one of his plates again
knew i was gonna lose at a shoe or be bleeding at some point. and both happened within 20 mins.
I hope there's a soldier with a Bedazzler just going to town right now.
Some random walked into our tent, woke her up and said "Harry Potter must not go back to Hogwarts!"
Woke up shivering behind the titty bar, With the worst leg cramps. I'm like a poster boy for responsibility.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
How many strippers in the world do you think have had a debate with someone about the NRA?
So yeah never trust sex tips from yahoo answers
was it wrong to tell him he's welcome in my pants any time?
I almost got on a bus to Langley Air Force Base. 99% sure that's not where I wanna be.
As long as it's before midnight it's cool. But it would be understandable to ring in my new year shitting myself just before I go to Iraq.
I have acquired a mango...tonight is successful so far
Her name is susan
Randomize