One of my students just wrote an essay on how ninjas, like drug addicts, must realize they need help before they can get better...I gave it an A+
we did it on the carpet and she just yells out "OH. MY PSORIASIS".
Bt dubs, I still have cuts on my arm from when you attacked me with a dildo on Saturday night.
on the way home the dog started throwing up her bone in the car..so naturally i started to puke too
how are you not completely traumatized after 8 years of friendship with me?
The sweet smell of jungle juice and bad decisions is calling our name.
i lnow ive slrrwsdy teted you this. but goddamn girl on tv is a good song
The family from the blindsided came and talked to us last night. The dad owns 68 taco bells. You would have been so inspired
I was just about to send a concerned text until I opened my door and saw a shopping cart. I'm glad you made it home in one piece and with toys.
I just masturbated while eating dinner. Now who's the lazy one
Model at car show < day drinking with your favorite sister. Get your head in the fucking game Christopher.
Also, my aunt grabbed my phone and downloaded the scriptures. Apparently I need Jesus.
Why do all the Father's Day cards talk about what a great dad they are? Why can't there be one that says something like "Thanks for sticking it to mom and making me possible, your sperm was appreciated."
You have the most beautiful penis I've ever seen. I never thought penises were meant to be beautiful, but you proved me wrong
I just ate apple sauce in my underwear. This isn't 30. This is 3.
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