This girl added me on fb and has all these pics of her kissing her little brother saying i will love you forever. I'm creeped out.
maybe it's her son
thats not any better.
Any day that starts with a call from my ex-bf... crying... is a good day.
He paid me to blow him while doing a handstand. Does that make me a whore or just a budding gymnast?
Maybe if more guys knew my pillowtalk occasionally includes me scribbling notebook diagrams of cell signalling pathways, I'd get laid more often
I dont think getting to 3rd base with a girl you barely know is the type of memory they had in mind when they named the park "memorial park"
Also just throwing this out there I don't think anyone who brings another girl back to your bed to share with you can qualify as a frigid bitch
Found out I slept with someone who likes Pitbull. I really should get to know someone better before I sleep with them.
i don't knpow whats goin on i think theyre sacrificeing me to th tequila gods
Apparently I filled my purse with chicken nuggets and told my mom I was a "sexual squirrel."
Serio, who the fuck falls down coming offstage wearing nothing but pasties, a g-string, and a fake moustache, and now suddenly needs a tetanus shot. Me. That's who.
Mom told me you snuck booze into a concert in a cheez its box...I have never been prouder to be related to you
I'm still waiting for God to smite you for impersonating a decent human being.
Turns out, it's impolite to repeatedly request Seal "Kiss From a Rose" at bars
Oh god...Did I just fuck a sugar granddaddy?!
As he put it in he shouted "geronimo!"
Wow... So was the sex good?
Yeah but it doesn't matter. My vagina is not a pool.
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