so we were having anal, both very very drunk when he started shouting his roomates name
when i woke up this morning i blew my nose and ash came out.. i'm not sure what to make of this.
After I threw him out he walked down the street peeing in stride. I almost wanted to let him back in.
By the end of the night i was making legitimate noises not just saying moo.
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Well when you're drinking tequila mixed with water out of a steve Austin cup I really don't think acquiring a straw is your main priority
The more I stare at her and block out what she's actually saying with thoughts of what she could be saying, the more interested I become
Found a beard hair in my crotch.... care to explain?
the boys love us. they call us "the stoner girl suite down the hall". not very inspired, but flattering nonetheless
I want you to come over here and spit coffee in my mouth like a momma bird feeding a baby bird. That hung over.
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Using Michelob Ultra as champagne.
Take a good hard look at your life. And the number of 18-20 year olds that you have made out with in the last 6 months... and then keep doing whatever the fuck you want.
Nautical themed porn is also great bc someone usually wears a captains hat
Will you be super villain lesbian lovers with me for halloween?
Sorry for trying to wake you up by slapping your ass with a fruit 2 go.
See that doesn't work because we've had sex so its awkward for you to call me mom
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