One girl and one boy is just not enough.
I mean I'm basically single. Or maybe just an asshole. Either way.
is wine microwaveable?
I hope he's okay, but I also hope he shows up with an eyepatch
so the party was at my house but some how i ended up being the only one who slept outside
I just keep sniffing it hoping for an explanation.
After he was done he gave me a case of landshark and tickets to tomorrows yankee game. This is the best nonrelationship ever
How many times can I tell him that I wasn't expecting sex before he finally figures out that I'm just too lazy to shave?
You didn't know it was a gay bar until the 7th guy rejected you. You were crying because you thought it was just a bad night. No more for you.
sorry bout that man. went out to pay the pizza boy, ended up hooking up with some random drunk girl that thought i was someone else
He sent me a recycled dick pic! He could at least use one without sunlight in it, considering it's 10pm
He hasn't texted me back since last week when we sexted. I think telling him I wanted to choke him with chains was a bit much for our first time.
Things you do not want to hear after sex: I almost lost my gum in your pussy. Really dude, don't share that with me!
Nothing like waking up and watching Dr. Phil and masturbating. It's like a protein shake for the day.
Whenever I have a bad day I just look at the negetive pregnancy test I keep in my purse and remind myself things could be alot worse.
Randomize
