he made transformer sounds every time he changed positions. how do you think it went?
yo everyone went to the hospital last night
Instead of centeral air we are getting a margaritaville machine. Thought you would enjoy our logic
He left his umbrella behind in my bed to 'keep me company', then stole my front door key before he went to work
He's having sex with his gf again. Every thump of his bed against the wall is insulting to our one night stand.
thinking back, the fact that our bartender was missing a finger shouldve been hint number one not to let him pick our drinks
im pretty sure your bra is in my room hanging on my shark pinata
Freshman ate returning to campus. Let Operation Slut Storm commence.
I still don't know why you took that job... it sounds miserable
not having any beer money sounds even more miserable
Some girl at my gym just tried to casually drop the fact she can kegel 3 lbs...
You just kept stroking his beard and thinking aloud that you wanted to rub your face all over it.
gay sex achievement: unlocked
what
you told me you were going out for groceries!!
So the tow truck driver didn't charge us because Ian convinced him that he was sent out by God to share his cocaine with us.
I just fell and sprained my ankle in the shower. No, I wasn't having sex. I was doing the time warp. Again.
Banged former boss. Adulthood achievement unlocked.
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