I will be home in 10 min. Dont be beating off on the couch
enter at your own risk
I woke up on a futon with 2 stolen budwiesers in my purse, 5 extra bucks, a sucker stuck to my shoe, one sock, and a stolen copy of the zombie survival guide
please tell me this is not legit
you yelled "you will never make love to jesus" and then ran into the tv.
I just found a bag of teeth...
She just passive-aggressively stripped in the kitchen while humming the theme to Doug.
she scratched her sororities letters into my back when she was done. i think i was part of some sick game. sick twisted sexy game
Even though we had just had to physically take her off of someones lawn she was peeing on when they came outside, she still insisted on walking unassisted the rest of the way home. It was dignity meets shit show.
True but, who really needs money in europe? Just barter with sexual favors. A bowl of cereal is worth a blowjob.
Nothing like grinding all night with a hot ethnic guy dressed as a clown to help conquer your phobia. Halloween is fucked up.
I feel like if tampons weren't meant to be microwaved, they'd have a warning on the box, so we should be okay...
Well once I told her I had a girlfriend she actually got more aggressive. Then Danielle called me and she saw the pic of the two of us on my phone and immediately said "can my caller I'd pic be me sitting on your face" wtf?
Is it just me or does the sex still keep getting better? I wasn't crying, my eyes just watered from how hard I was cumming.
You're a five foot adderall and caffeine fueled ball of sexual frustration and suppressed rage. It's only a matter of time before you snap. We're taking bets on when.
If I could eat my chicken parm naked, it would be the closest I could ever be to God.
Let the clothes fall where they may.
Randomize
