i think im in love. he told me he doesnt care if i shave down there.
If it has a penis then it will be stupid. Just how it works.
i have now learned nap means the same thing as sex in college
if you're passed out when i get there i get to wear your banana costume and do awful things to you
I know its hard to believe that I'm already drunk at 12 p.m. but I am, so dont call me asking to go to the gym.
There's always the 'not have sex with the drunk girl I just met at some party' option.
That was the plan but Tequila showed up at the party too.
He blew a .19 and then slurred "well I did have some rum cake earlier today officer".
My meds have diminished my sex drive, this must be what regular women feel like
I took 20 bucks from you because when I woke up I saw more of you than I ever wanted to see bro.
Totally acceptable.
And for those of you keeping score at home this is the 7th time I've found Casey passed out head first in a bowl of chips at a party I didn't even know she was at
Did I get stoned on a sunday afternoon and speak to someone on the phone for an hour about cats and their behaviour? Glad you asked. And yes.
Pizza rolls are incredible. They are like sex, except I have them sometimes
you take my contact solution?
drank it last night then filled it with brandy for the plane ride.
I broke her handcuffs. I feel like an animal.
It’s just hard to believe you really care about me when u haven’t touched my dick in 2 months
Randomize
