It was kinda weird being the boss
Did you feel like Tony Danza?
that's when I learned why R Kelly peed on that bitch
I can't breathe out the right side of my face
she would be the type to have more hair on her twat than on her head
she has to be all "alternative"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I think im gonna have to stop sexting on the metra. The middle aged businessman behind me just leaned over and whispered 'dirty girl' and highfived his seatmate.
I'm also 95% sure I had a conversation with someone on how hard it would be to jerk off with out opposable thumbs
I said "have a good day officer and I'll see you friday when I get arrested for being too drunk.."
I think its pretty common. 1 out of every 4 people probably have a stripper's phone # in their phone.
VAGINAS ASSEMBLE!
I'm not seeing this movie with you.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
For only eating leftover pizza for breakfast today, you sure do have a lot to vomit up...
well my grandpa saw your dick pic, so why don't you tell me how my day is going
...I just melted into my bed. I am one with the bed. I am 600 thread count.
Accent: check. Hot body: check. 8" dick: check. Feeds me biscuits in bed after rampant sex: check. Should I continue with my "Why I'm not coming back to the States" List?
Dude, I danced with Abe Lincoln! How could last night have been any better???
Is constant horniness a medical condition? Because a husband, a boyfriend and an office side piece should be enough penis for one girl - but they’re not :-(
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