My roommate was eating ketchup out of a bowl. Get me the hell out of here.
the first call I got in the morning was from visa fraud prevention so yeah it was one of those nights
Just watched a guy pause a bluetooth convo to puke outside of esso. gotta love orangeville
Yea.. I remember nothing. Except that the taxi driver was 56 years old and apparently never cheated on his wife.
she drove 3 hrs one way just to sleep with me. I felt bad complaining about paying for condoms.
This morning my mouth tasted like fruit trees, battery acid, and magnums. Transferring schools was the best decision Ive ever made.
I would feel bad that's he's locked out naked, but the world should really see that.
I never want to do this again, I'm going to chew off several fingers and apply for disability
No, just kidding. But your faith in me to throw a lesbian bridal shower makes me think I an pull it off. To the LGBT bar!
You merely adopted the alcohol. I was born into it. Molded by it. I didn't see the hang over until I was a man and by then it was only blinding.
I may have had several rum punches and then gone to the store and used European cucumbers to prove my baton twirling prowess.
He tried to brush a hair off my cheek, but turns out it was just a freakishly long chin hair. So no, we didn't bang.
DUDE!!!!! THERE IS A MIDGET HANDING OUT RICE KRISPIE TREATS!!!!!! WHERE ARE YOU WHEN THE COOL SHIT GOES DOWN???????
You thought the flashing lights were strobe lights when they were loading you into the ambulance. You asked the EMT if he had any X.
just realized I'll be in a check out line with just Hershey syrup and condoms. I don't know if I am setting a good image for our generation
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