with your own penis?
Oh shit, I think we need to get you a hobby that doesn't include penises
for halloween i should be pregnant. what is scarier than that?!
Ever since I got married, I've become the MacGuyver of masturbation
I really wish I didn't have to wear pants this is ridiculous
In other news I saw a pack of make believe zombies walking down green st.
gotta love wednesdays
Then mom squeezed my boob and said, "Dad would go nuts if I had these..."
It's titled "A countdown to death. A psychological look at the downward spiral of actress Lindsay Lohan and her inevitable Hollywood demise" This dissertation is genius. Not a single sober moment for either Lindsay or myself. Good stuff!
The amount of drugs I did this weekend make me concerned about my health but at the same time fascinated to see if I could do more
I'm at a new rock bottom. Malibu on ice at work because it's the only thing they've got and no mixers.
Talking to him sober hurts my brain
I have a cat for love and a booty call for sex. What else could I need?
I mean, I let him sleep with me after we both ate taco bell sober... That's kinda like love, right?
I'm literally watching a webcam of the Vegas strip right now and it is making me sad.
Alex thinks he can revoke my dick privileges haha.
Isn't he the one getting all the privileges ?
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