Wow so rude I was trying to have an orgy later but whatever
I think having sex with you would be a great treat for us
you guys got to bein so kosher and go with the flow
You tried to convince her that if she gave you head she'd hear the ocean.....
My RA just gave me tips on how to have discreet shower sex. Were we that loud?
I don't give a shit about soccer but I'm really excited about drinking at 7 in the morning
I hurt. I blacked out in a onesie. Reevaluation needs to happen.
I'm gonna need you to NOT let me play duck duck goose with three racoons in the middle of the street next time.
On my way to the DMV to get arrested
it's not like i was drunk to the point of NEEDING help...i just wanted someone to offer to hold my hair or something.
shes the kind of girl that would cock block endangered pandas
I want to own their dicks and all the attachments
it's pretty awkward texting you how much I want to suck your cock when I have my mom on speakerphone.
On my way
He told me to prepare for his "Jurassic cock" and I had to leave the room from laughing.
She dumped me and then asked if I wanted to come to her improv show. Fuck theatre majors, man.
You just had sex during the movie Radio. This is an all time low
Btw I thought it was impossible to use up 48 bottles of patron in one night but I was wrong...
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