Locked eyes w/ her at mainstreet, and said 'yeah yeah get it!' From there we started violently making out on the dancefloor (I had a FULL boner, ps) and then I got her number
wooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo
ooooooooooooo i'm drink
(917) i just came from walking.
haha you just came from walking?
she added me on facebook and her celebrity doppelganger is rosie odonnel. FUCK
we were on a sandy mattress. i was wearing a sweatshirt with a poodle on it and eating a whopper jr. i wouldn't have fucked me either.
After we had sex he bought me grape soda. I think I'll keep him.
Just took a shot out of a used mini planter. Might die from the pesticides, but didnt want whoever took all of my shotglasses to think they won.
She was telling me which girls she thought I should fuck or not at the bar. Why can't all one night stands be that cool after?
Just hit him with your car. I can guarantee he won't do it again.
We tried. It's impossible to cum while bouncing on a trampoline. It's like trying to sneeze while keeping your eyes open.
Some days you just pee in a stairwell and go home.
True friends don't judge, they just try to have more booty calls than you do.
Holy shit, I wanna ride him into the horizon.
How do I say “I have great tits” without it sounding awful
don't think less of me for this, but i'm pretty sure he did a line off my boob last night.
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