dpoing straight shots of jhameson. boys are imp ressed. i apologize
he was shitfaced drunk and couldn't walk but could still recite the top 10 in order from the first season of american idol. impressive
Just had a serious bathroom emergency at walmart a and it appears that i ate a taco bell burrito wrapper last night
I have never made a good decision in that bathroom...
Got a blowie from her in the cab on the way home. Made awkward eye contact with the cabbie who said, and I quote "Keep the mess in her mouth bro", I did so only out of respect
If you could come over after class and poke me with a stick to see if im still alive id really appreciate it
#1 RULE OF DRINKING: DELETE YOUR EX'S NUMBER FROM YOUR PHONE
shes taking the breakup well, i walked in on her naked passed out wearing a turban with a bag of peanut butter choc chips in hand at 5 in the afternoon.
My neck kind of hurts. I think from sleeping on the concrete.
I feel like he better crank it up to level RG IV tomorrow. It's the fucking playoffs.
i seriously haven't spoken to him since i drunk dialed him and told him i loved his beard
I've orgasmed so many times tonight I think I've become enlightened
I'm excited for him and his new girlfriend. I'm just going to miss his penis is what I'm saying.
this vacation is helping with my sexual bucket list so much. threesome, deaf guy, and outdoor sex all accomplished.
I am no longer and illegal Moonshiner. I just made thousands of gallons of incredibly High test alcohol with police watching and waiting for thare couple of jugs so that they can bring home and disinfect their houses with it. I'm fat with money at the moment.
Randomize
