who knew getting puke in ur hair could make it look so cute and curly. minus the crusty puke part
The woman at walgreens tried to sell me clearance condoms with my fake eyelashes. Does it look like I get laid?
Tried to buy Xanax from my boss last night. Wrong Mike.
My number went up to seventeen today. I forgot to add my random hookup on a sailboat.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
battery dying...get laid and text me after...or during...its whatever.
i have a surprise for you that looks bigger since I found my body hair trimmer
3 guesses about who had to still-drunkenly facilitate a fire drill at 2:40am because freshmen can't handle microwave popcorn.
Drunk me needs to be reminded of my sexual preferences.
at least it wasnt animals
I made out with a guy because he was sitting on my coat...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You told me to remind you that the bruise on your ass is from when you danced on the table at Ziggy's, saw a cop and tried to 'fly away'.
Hey. My eyes swollen shut and I can't find my shoes. How was your night?
I would go a lot of places to get laid. But I would NOT go to Staten Island.
My legs feel like baby dolphins
I just wanna inform you guys that the first pregnancy scare of 2016 is over...
Finding my pants in the morning should not make me this proud
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