It smells like weed.
We are in Boulder, Everything smells like weed.
you were definitelymotorboating random chicks as they walked out of the bar. just like, down the line. you kept yelling "Motor Boats for everyone!!!!"
Why dose there have to be another girl there for you to do this?
its hotter. Way hotter.
I hate fucking guys that don't drink coffee. My morning hangover and shame will not be cured by your stupid tea.
I just found glitter on my vibrator... whatever we're doing has to stop
he's like a stage 5 clinger and he won't even fuck me. he has to be gay. my personality isn't really THAT great.
She tried to lure me back to her house by saying she had "real" pizza.
when you tell me you got me a birthday present, I have to assume it will show up in a drug test.
Everything sucks i just wanna cry and smoke a bowl and pet my cat and die. All at the same time
I walked into the kitchen and twelve of them were just staring at the oven. Freshmen are the weirdest drunks ever.
in the future when you find clothing in your street, just assume it's mine.
If it goes near your penis, it should not go near the Hawks.
I explained to him that me turning straight is a once a year thing. And this boy just happens to be the chosen one.
was i wearing any clothes at that point?
socks and a thong
and by running errands I mean eating an entire bag of milanos by myself in the Walmart parking lot
Randomize
