so i woke up.. still drunk and discovered my roommate in the living room passed out dick-in-hand watching porn..
What did u do?
turned the porn up and opened the windows so everybody goin to class could see him..
Literally just stood in the shower and forgot what to do. that hungover.
All I learned from that experience was that drinking scotch out of a crunk goblet was bad news.
and she just brought her bike into the shower with her
Drunk in my research methods class at 9:30 in the morning. We should do a quantitative analysis of my mimosa consumption.
I am both scared and jealous.
If you would give me the chance we might have the two separate pieces of the greatest fuck puzzle ever.
Pushiiing vjews 4 ma daz caik
Lyk hr kuds 4
its like i had a thought but i dont know what the words are for it
Apparently when it was last call I jumped up on the bar and told everyone to get the fuck out, which was immediately followed by a round of applause from the bouncers/bartenders and my tab getting paid as well.
We are gonna sacrifice to and pray to every god in this world that he doesn't find out about her sleeping with his old roommate.
May the power of my ass compel you!!
She just walked out of her bedroom naked and asked me to help put her diaper on. Yeah, that pretty much sums up the last 24 hours...
probably because i sent a bunch of guys a snap saying happy one year to my nipple piercings
so he'll eat food out of a dumpster but he won't lick your ass?
we're tipping the strippers with chocolate coins.
Randomize
