worst. lesbian. ever. i'm not sure she knows a clit from a pencil eraser.
Ambien does the same to me. One time that I took it, I got this huge bowl of spaghetti out of the fridge and thought it was a castle and that the meatballs were little slaves. I ate all of them first and then the noodles were the soldiers and the sauce was the water in the moat. And when I finished, I fell up the stairs and threw it all up.
You took shots of captn out of a empty percocet bottle, i just saw you fall threw the floor of rock bottom.
Every time I remember you're bi, the world gets a little brighter.
Day 5 without masturbation. Fat chicks are back on the table
It wasn't random sex though, it was almost a relationship, built on lies and sex
So I paid for the taxi using pennies and hair clips, no need to thank me.
It's national boyfriend day supposedly, would it be appropriate if I posted a picture of my dildo?
But in fairness, I would totally have a robo-penis as long as it had full sensation.
I woke up naked to an alarm set for 11:18 pm and missing a shoe. How was your night?
Their first impression of me was that I was completely naked. So yeah college hasn't even started yet and I'm already that person.
The hint wasn't even a hint. it said "stop talking to her" that's pretty straightforward
I love the smell of your bedroom. It smells of a mixture of cherries, leather, and unrequited homosexual desire.
I'm all about clean living these days
You started your day with fried chicken and a bloody
... after you woke up in your own urine
not only did I call my ex crying but drunk me also deleted the phone log so I had no warning when I saw him in class
Randomize
