I would drag my balls through a mile of broken glass to eat pudding out of her anus
Am I the only person who thinks Megan Fox looks totally like a Thai lady boy with a serious tanning bed fix?
Just waterfalled in the movie theatre... this is the beginning to a good night
She said her tits were too big, and he slapped her. He said that Jesus didn't appreciate bitches that fish for compliments
The last thing I remember is ordering two Martinis while yelling 'CAN YOU PUT THAT IN ONE GLASS?'
The hypnotist is here. He has a black eye and smells like tequila.
I'm pretty sure "tag teaming" and "looking for stability" are not synonymous.
Not yet.
How big of a disservice to the economy would we be doing if we didn't drink every day holiday break?
He's sweet and rough. A wonderful contradiction. He's the starburst of sex.
Being able to fart in my own house is like 90% of why I pay rent
To be honest, waking up to 20 naked people in my house was not the weirdest thing to happen to me in the past 24 hours
Call it slutty but I take pride in being a first round draft pick booty call. And I know I was first cause he texted me at 1030a
I can't hang out with this penis. I'll start thinking I like the person it belongs to.
I'M HANGING OUT WITH THE DRUG DEALER UPSTAIRS JUST SO I CAN STEAL HIS WIFI PASSWORD, I HOPE Y'ALL LOVE ME.
The only food I have to eat is weed gummies and magic mushrooms... This is peak 34
Randomize
