The guy asked if i had a problem w/set schedules
what has become of my life if the best thing thats happened to me this week is that i discovered my cleavage as the best hiding spot ever for weed.
i wish peter jackson would direct porn
is it bad that i regret hanging out with a girl tonight because that means i have less time to sit on youtube watching xmen cartoons?
They have edible shot glasses at target.
There really is a God.
Dude, just paid my sister in vicodin to go out and buy me a slushie.
My friend just ordered a beer and poured it on the floor in celebration of open bar night
So I've gone into the break room to heat up a styrofoam cup 8 times over the course of 4 hours.. that desperate to see him. Now I have a broken heart AND cancer.
By this time tomorrow I expect us to be sitting at the kitchen table either playing a drinking game, or crying. Set an alarm
Trying to coordinate a drug deal while taking a psych test is not easy.
I like literally had a visual image of his penis going into your soul
want me to make you a grilled cheese? I can't guarantee it'll be as good as yours but i'll go down on you afterwards if you want
brb printing out this text and putting it on my bedroom wall
It's only 10am and I doubt my day could get much worse. During my 9am meeting I had to sit between my boss who I fucked for my promotion and the guy he walked in on me fucking on the copier
I think my life is a one-way ticket to blackout city.
hey, i didnt think i could be this stupid either but you dont see ME getting all judgemental about it
Randomize
