so... thinking about masturbating finally
taking the losers way out I see
Your mom can still drink beer standing on her head! Talk to you tomorrow :)
Mom wtf!?
I just realized there's an entire generation of children that will never know Alex Trebek had a mustache... Sad.
There's nothing worse than waking up naked on the beach covered in sand and a family walking by.
We don't need a hotel, we'll just sleep in the post office.
I'll hold a taco with my boobs for you
I think it was the free bomb shots from the creepy bolivians that sent us over the edge
he started frosting cupcakes and licking the mini-spatula realllllly deliberately and i don't know if i'm more attracted to him or the cupcakes
Also I know you probably did not understand anything I said on the phone last night but thank you for pretending.
Have you ever been so high that you felt like corduroy? I'm at that level.
Quick question—how good are you at digging holes? I mean, besides the one you've dug for yourself. asking for a friend
yknow last night was like... the third night in a row alex woke me up to make sure i wasn't dead and tbh it's sorta sweet.
I think he was trying to be romantic, but the candle he had lit was the kind you use to repel mosquitoes..
Dad danced on top of the bar with me last night. And has a video of me doing a beer bong.
So learned a new trick last night.... Taking body shots from my own tits... Mom would be so proud
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