Grow some girl-balls and come out already
dude your alot more fun to hang out around now that your addicted to coke...but seriously you need to stop
i either just walked in on pete wacking off to webmd or he was checking his dick for herpes
he's a bartender at a gay strip club. maybe he can work his magic. with getting u in, not gay magic.
I would invite you but we are high and there is an AK-47. Not your scene.
He whinnies like a horse when he's cumming. I wish I would have known this before we got into a relationship.
He was president of his frat and had a clap on disco ball in his room... or course I slept with him
We are without power. He took ALL the lightbulbs out and hid them.
I've justified worse with less. I had sex with your brother because he was wearing a nice sweater
If the river was whiskey, it would be the best river ever.
Wore a burger king crown while giving head still drunk this morning #blessed
I'm going to start using the hurricane naming system for my hangovers. Hangover Agatha is a real bitch today.
My liver appreciates your vow of avoiding matrimony
I may have taken the entire adderall. I FEEL LIKE THE FUCKIN HULK. I can't stop cleaning and organizing and doing the clean things
Have a booty call at 3am, stopped for tacos at 2:30. It's 2:55 and I still haven't ordered but can't jump the curb to get out of line because there is a cop in front of me. What am I doing with my life?
Randomize
