do you think i can make that microwavable cake stuff with vodka instead of water?
you should probably use water
i dont have any
Stop staring at my boobs, I can't concentrate
Well how do you think I feel
fair enough
Ya know, in a round about way coinstar is just a glorified vending machine for all my bad choices.
Have you ever straight up just taken a bite out of a block of cheese? Because it's amazing.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You are in charge of making sure that her vagina explodes with joy tonight.
How do you set tits on fire ? I swear her tits were on fire.
Kayla got stiches in her face. Rode in an ambulance shotgun. Tried to steal a baby, thought it was mine
I can't break up with him, I ran the math. Taking into account his 7 inch penis and the standard deviation from average, almost 90% of guys should have a smaller penis than he does.
Really? Penis math? This is why guys shouldn't date female engineers.
I haven't had a normal poop since halloween, we are not mixing vodka and tequila ever again
RESPECT THE VODQUILA
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It was like an ecstasy filled massage for my vagina.
That's the best compliment I have ever received.
I went in to wake you up this morning and you had a condom draped across your throat like a necklace. There were no boys in the house last night, what were you doing?
Bianca brought a stripper home he's making me breakfast
I miss forts and drugs that made me believe in unicorns...
Ps. I'm slapping the bag. It's an emergency.
I’ll call you later. There’s a jilted trophy wife looking for a revenge fuck at my door
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