Barsexuality is the new black.
Thank you for holding my vodka while the police let me ride their horse.
I can'nr wwn explain this nihght . So amnt dixks. Shitttttt.
We had sex under a tree in his boss's backyard, then I hooked up with his best friend. I don't even care how I got home.
I get off at the next exit which doesn't have a shoulder, a guy is riding my ass so I cant stop. I think I got as much puke on his car as on mine.
What do you wear to apply at a strip club?
I'm so tired of waking up with my bed full of deli meats.
Is there a non-awkward way to tell a girl I work with that she looks just like my favourite pornstar?
Let's just say he sent me a picture of his dick and I was more impressed with the collection of video games he had in the background...
I just want to know how she convinced 6 sober ROTC guys to have an ab contest on a street corner at 2 in the morning.
Our motto for the night: BLACK OUT OR BACK OUT.
That's our motto every night.
He has an accent, blue cross AND gainful employment. Just saying, he's going to urgent care once I'm done with him
What's life without a pregnancy scare?
You can now call me Rabbi, and I can now perform weddings, funerals, and other services in all fifty states. You're welcome, world.
She started waving a nerf rifle around and demanding free booze.
Randomize
