weddingsv make me drug and hornr
my drunk step mom just informed me my dad likes reverse cowgirl. Please god kill me.
its time to go be "that drunk guy nobody knows"....again.
Nothing kills the mood more than a jesus song.
So, during a 20 minute shower I spent 19 minutes spinning in circles and 1 minute licking the wall, and it was better than sex. I can't wait to do X again.
he busted in while i was showering looked at me and said "youve lost weight bro, no homo" and started puking into the sink
In the midst of you puking your guts out, you stopped, looked at the globe in front of you and whispered "America.."
I just recorded myself pooping, then uploaded to google drive, then connected to my pc through teamviewer then downloaded it, then played it to the living room while still pooping. God I love the internet.
I should be done at 8 and I've also done a great Job of convincing my self that I should get really drunk tonight
I'm giving head in a stairwell, I'll be back in a few minutes. I'm so ashamed.
I have a hook up buddy in Abiquiu. He lives next to a Chipotle; that's the only reason I see him.
My new favorite word is dickbag. I think its relevant here. And I say that with all the love in the world.
You went home with a guy at 11... than returned to the bar at 1
He's teaching me French for free and I'm giving him blowjobs. Win-win.
you never know when your going to find a surprise from me in your bed...it keeps you on your toes.
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