you made pancakes with beer, you said they were good. then you threw up 15 minutes later
Just saw a white bronco on my way home from work and the license plate said "NOT OJ"
I mean, I'd wanted to go skinny dipping, hook up with him and have sex on a beach, so last night I basically killed 3 birds with one super slutty stone.
I never thought I would say the free bottle of grey goose was the problem but it was
You insisted on drinking champagne out of the dog bowl
Like if there was an award for best way to take a girls virginity, he would get a standing ovation. And first prize. Probably a bunch of roses too. That good.
he is like the poster child for std's. god i hope he meets a girl with teeth in her vag. that would serve him right
So did u puke in his bathroom or all over his Olympic medals? Please say medals...
we had break-up sex in a port-a-potty. how do you think it went?!
These are all good points. But, I think your under estimating what it's like to be held upside down for a standing 69
Guess who was PASSED OUT ON A BMW. I shit you not
Stop it right now
This time face forward
Pro: She likes to masturbate to 50 shades of grey. Con: She reads 50 Shades of grey non-ironically.
I think the only option is to smoke so much weed I just pass out for 3 days.
When I woke up this morning I swear my mouth tasted like dick and rolaids.
Im 76 percent sure I took a fully clothed shower last night.
Randomize
