so how much must it suck for him to know that the penis of his best man has been in his wife's mouth before?
so my dad walked in on us having sex
lulz really? why?
lets just say he wont be answering to 'daddy' for a loooooong time
i need to find a notary that isn't going to turn me in for blatantly lying to the us and chilean governments
Every fourth of July I get sentimental when I think back to the one where we drove around baked off our asses crashing multiple cookouts listening to Team America's "America, Fuck Yea" on repeat. I miss us.
TINY HANDS NOT FOR BUTTHOLES
This is going everywhere on the internet.
Just played slippy cup. Flip cup plus slip n slide. What did you do with your fourth of july?
Tommarow we shall sacrifice the freshmen to the sun god
I cnant read. Cheetos goen. Help. Grt Cheetos.
And literally 4loko margaritas are callin my name. They're like "Hey girl come on over here I'll make you forget about grades and boys and it'll be a good idea to send everyone 55 snapchats of your cleavage" ok
I just did a jell-o shot with my grandmother. I can die now..
no body wants to do anything today cause it's too cold, but a guy can only masturbate so many times a day. Ya know
My liver appreciates your vow of avoiding matrimony
Her boyfriend offered to buy me a vibrator. I'm not sure how to feel about that.
I'm literally about to create a tinder account. Just so someone drives me to get food.
Clothing is a burden necessitated by propriety.
Randomize
