You got so drunk you kept singing the Sailor Moon theme song and kept making everyone call you Sailor Venus.
The only thing that would make my night better is if William Shatner came and read me a bedtime story.
You got off, kissed my dick and whispered "stay hard" to it, puked and then got right back on top of me like nothing happened...
I don't understand how 5 bottles of booze became normal or acceptable per 2.5 people
Boobs are also good for catching the vodka gummy bears that miss my mouth
I walked home with him, but I had to pee...so I did...as we walked. He was so drunk he didn't even notice. Good thing I was in a dress.
The fact that I am laying in bed on my stomach with an ice pack on my rump is a clear indication that I am no longer in my carefree 20s
We need to talk about your improper dealings with the town drug dealer.
I have commenced my lesbian college experimentation. Wish me luck
You ruined a cute cat because your lack of horniness
Great, now even dream!me is a drunken borderline mess.
Holy fuck, my entire boob is bruised! Lierally my boob is just one big bruise.
I think everyone at the office can tell I'm dehydrated
you mean still drunk
I've heard it both ways
One day he'll find out I do drugs and stop talking to me.
What will you do then?
Drugs, probably.
How can i make it up 2 u?
DREW I AM SMOKING POT AND FUCKING. WE CANNOT DISCUSS THIS AT THIS PARTICULAR JUNCTURE.
Randomize
