dats a huuuuuge bitch!
who is this????
You surviving the open bar?
Super asto ex polenta omaha botad
I just woke up to people screaming "funnel" in my kitchen....
Happy St. Patrick's Day.
at the topless march for equality..and wow.not all these boobs should be treated equally
She's Christian and monogamous. Two wammies right there. No amount of convincing will turn that bi for a night.
She said she wanted to have closure sex.
I promise a much better performance tomorrow than last night my penis has a bed time
I must have drunkenly masturbated really loud last night, cause my roommate and his wife wont look at me
I was blowing him while he was singing Happy Birthday to his girlfriend on the phone. I win.
It's amazing how not interested in talking to him I am since I've decided that he probably has chlamydia.
I had to help some 40 year old women shoot down some 21 year old who called her his "milf fantasy"
He asked if I could ever take him seriously, I told him I just like his doggy style.....needless to say I snuck out after an awkward cuddle session... I wont be calling him at 2 am anymore.
According to facebook, I opened up a can of whupass on some douche who poured all the vodka on the ground.
You called the wrong number but I salute you.
Also, you think turning 23 is bad, I just ran into the guy that gave my chlymidia
You waddled all the way home with your shoes in a construction cone. I'm glad to call you my Bestfriend.
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