do you know mcdonalds refuses to give out large cups of water now? you have to buy a bottle or they give you a small cup. No exceptions.
RUDE.
I said FINE, then I'd like 7 small waters and 2 of those nifty carrying cases to carry about my h2o.
outsmarted mickey deeeees
we put on a show in the hot tub for our boyfriends, then climbed out and both got down on our hands and knees and puked at the same time--still naked.
thats the last time i clean cum out of my retainer.
A homeless guy asked you to feel your boobs, you accepted in exchange for his broom to go with your witch costume..... that's when I cut you off
can we meet up so i can piece together the end of my night? for instance, did i jump or fall into a plant?
but he gave me mouthwash after the bj. no ones ever done that for me before.
Just because you graduated a semester early, doesn't mean you can take a semester off of drinking. Sorry.
somehow this went from sexting to explaining my eating disorder.
I just love it. It's warm and soft and the rest of the world is so mean. My bed would never be mean to me
Today I found out that my boss keeps a breathalyzer on his desk for just these sort of shenanigans
I'd let you fuck my husband in the future, that's how much I love you
How do you clean human pee out of a carpet
Inconspicuously
The 666th photo in my phone is of him and if that's not a sign that he's secretly the Antichrist, idk what is. Also, bring more rum.
Well I've always wanted to get head while playing WoW...
K I'll do it, but mine is going to be WAY weirder. Your not allergic to shellfish, right?
not being a booty call is very strange. Who knew there was so much time for activities at night!
Randomize
