Dude, TWO hot chicks on jeopardy tonight. gonna be a good one
Dude, I am so turned on right now. Hot chick with glasses from brooklyn is absolutely crushing right now, taking whole categories. might beat off to jeapordy...
do another line during during the commercial and make the magic happen during double jeopardy.
hey, here's something you don't have worry about since you're a girl: finding crusty cum in your bellybutton.
why do they call them blowjobs? ....unless i'm doing it wrong?
and then he said that some chick told him he danced like an epileptic on crystal meth. he then proceeded to demonstrate this statement, which i can testify is 100% accurate.
I made out with a deaf person. Also I've been drunk 11 days in a row now.
I bet a guy could be masturbating under the table now and people would just think he was clapping along.
Is it bad that on the course evaluation it said "do you normally try harder than other students in class" and i circled "absolutely false"?
We made a bong out of a plastic football. I can honestly say we make a good team.
Doing Jager Bombs on a Sunday morning is justified...How else is my team going to win?
Bring enough bail money and little extra for tacos after
If we accept the love we think we deserve do we also accept the sex we think we deserve?
You were drink-wine-from-the-bottle drunk trying to take everybody's blood pressures again.
Thank you for stroking my rage monster tonight.
you put your keys in the fridge so you wouldn't forget your yoohoo
The highlight of my week is I found some hetero porn I didn't completely hate. Branching out.
Randomize
