We drank from noon till 5 am, there was adderall and nice jews involved it was just crazy
Hehe I wanna Australian kiss.. Its like a French kiss but down under ;)
Do you think if Santa was real that he's have a big penis?
we usually just have an Easter beer hunt and never end up at church anyways
my mom just asked if she should wash your furry handcuffs with the lights or darks
It's okay, I climbed on the roof of the bar to get my shoe back. This may become a Saturday tradition. I'll keep you updated
is it too much to get a jumbo margarita in a sippy cup right now?
Dong worry about me. I just cashed bottle of wine when I found out he was in town, I'm being dramatic. I'll text you tomorrow when I'm sober and my face stops bleeding
For someone only wearing socks and a cast, I felt reallyy overdressed
private study room at the lib turned into byob study room. that turned into battle royale and eric impaling his leg on a pen.
Obviously a higher power wants us to be sunday drunk together
Nothing is working I'm going to die alone and on hold with a State Farm representative
Although a guy bought me a shot of fireball last wknd and I told him he wouldn't even get half a handjob for that and walked away so don't tell me I don't have standards
So, looks like I managed to leave my bra in the boardroom after all the sex. FML.
We're going to watch the inauguration and fuck. Or fuck and watch the inauguration, I'm not picky, just get your ass over here by ten.
Randomize
